A Year Later – #Failure

I made a bold proclamation last January: that I was going to lose 40 lbs by my 50th birthday.  I was amped up to be #fitat50 and look and feel great during my surf vacation.    I failed.  Pretty epically.  I  weigh the same as I did when I started.

I am, however, not entirely upset.  Of course I am pissed at myself for not being more diligent but I learned a lot this past year.  The most obvious is that fitness is a journey and there are no shortcuts.   If you don’t put in the time, you won’t get the results.  I didn’t make enough time to achieve my goal.  Period.

I am also coming to terms with how much stress impacts performance.  This is one of my biggest issues.  Stress limits my ability to get a good night’s sleep and without sleep one’s body simply cannot perform properly.  My goal for my 51st year is to get this under control.  The big question will be how to do it.  If you know me, it is pretty obvious that I am wound pretty tight.

I HAVE made great strides in my strength training.  I am finally feeling strong again and am doing things in the gym that I have never been able to do.  For this, I will celebrate.  The next stage is to get back in the pool, try yoga, CrossFit etc

As I sit by a pool on a mountainside in Costa Rica preparing for my first surfing lesson, I am making a conscious decision to plan and do more things like this.  I want new experiences and to challenge myself physically.

I guess what I am saying is, I failed at my goal but I am farther along the path than I would have been if I had not tried.

Later that day….I am finishing this post hours after I started it and hours after my first surfing lesson.  It was the hardest and most humbling thing I have ever done.  I wanted to give up but I didn’t.  My entire body hurts and I am a horrible surfer and some might say I failed because I didn’t stay up longer than 5 seconds.  But here is the thing: I got UP ON THE BOARD for 5 seconds.  Thats 5 seconds more than if I had stopped trying.

Later that week (vacation kept getting in the way of this post..) So yes, I failed at the weight loss goal I set for myself this year.  I own it.  I am not, however, going to give up.  I am a horrid surfer.  I did not enjoy the experience and I doubt I will ever get on a board again.  But I tried it. And now I know.

Thanks to everyone for the support this past year.  I failed, I own it, yet I will keep moving forward.

To close, I wanted to share something I overheard one day in NC that stuck with me: it is an elderly man’s response when he was asked how he was feeling.  His reply was “well, I am on the right side of the grass so I guess that is good”.    I plan on fertilizing the grass for a long time to come.

2 Replies to “A Year Later – #Failure”

  1. Weight, like age, is just a number. What you do with it, your attitude towards it, yourself, and others, is what really counts. I’m beyond proud of you, proud to be your friend, proud to have you in my professional and personal life. I think you look amazing but even more importantly, you are an amazing person. Genuine, authentic, humble, real. That’s the most important thing.

  2. I love it! Thank you for your humbleness and transparency. After your declaration last year I made the same; fortunately I have a bit more time to reach 50, but as we know, time waits for no one and it’s moving quicker than I ever expected. I’ve got the same 40lbs to lose, some would say more, but I’m happy with some curves.
    Keep your faith and pressing forward on this journey. As long as we’re on this side of the dirt we have hope to reach our goals .
    I love you, cousin, and admire you very much!❤

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